Why Customers Don't Remember Your Business
Customers don't forget your business because you aren't different enough. They forget because you're asking them to remember too much. Psychology, brand strategy, and one simple exercise reveal why the most memorable businesses aren't the ones with the most to say—they're the ones that know what matters most.
If you're wrestling with what your business should be known for, this is the work Dr. J.J. Peterson helps leaders, organizations, and thought leaders do every day. Through messaging workshops and strategy sessions, he helps teams uncover the ideas that matter most—and build marketing that customers remember. Learn more about working with J.J. at drjjpeterson.com.
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Most businesses don't have a differentiation problem.
They have a memory problem.
That's an uncomfortable distinction because most leaders spend their time trying to become more different. They add new services, expand their messaging, highlight more features, and search for one more thing that will separate them from the competition.
The result is often the opposite of what they intended.
Instead of becoming more memorable, they become more complicated.
Customers don't struggle to understand that a business has value. They struggle to remember which part of that value matters most.
Customers Aren't Studying for an Exam
It's easy to understand why businesses fall into this trap.
If customers simply knew more about the company, every capability, every success story, every feature, every advantage, surely choosing would become obvious.
But customers aren't studying for an exam.
They're answering emails, raising kids, managing meetings, paying bills, and making hundreds of decisions every day. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, they're expected to remember what your company does and why it matters.
That isn't a knowledge problem.
It's a memory problem.
The job of marketing isn't simply to communicate value.
It's to make value memorable.
More Information Doesn't Create More Confidence
Psychologists have long understood that more choices don't necessarily produce better decisions.
One of the best-known examples comes from a farmers market.
Researchers created two jam displays. One offered twenty-four varieties. The other offered six.
The larger display attracted more people. Customers stopped, sampled, and explored.
But the smaller display generated significantly more sales.
More options created more interest.
Fewer options created more action.
The same principle shows up in Hick's Law, which suggests that the more choices people face, the longer it takes them to make a decision.
Businesses unknowingly fight against this principle every day.
They assume more proof, more benefits, more testimonials, and more reasons to buy will increase confidence.
Often it simply increases the amount of work customers have to do before making a decision.
Memorable Businesses Choose What to Repeat
Think about the brands that immediately come to mind.
Volvo.
Most people think of safety.
FedEx.
Overnight delivery.
Neither company is defined by only one thing. Both do hundreds of things well.
The difference is that they've decided what they want customers to remember.
Being memorable isn't about reducing the value your business provides.
It's about deciding which part of that value deserves to lead the conversation.
That's where many businesses get stuck.
Every point on the whiteboard is true.
Customer service.
Technology.
Relationships.
Experience.
Culture.
Expertise.
The challenge isn't determining whether those things matter.
The challenge is deciding which ones customers should remember long after they've left your website or finished the sales conversation.
Three Ideas Are Easier to Remember Than Twenty
One pattern appears repeatedly in communication, storytelling, and persuasion.
The Rule of Three.
Beginning, middle, end.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Stop, drop, and roll.
Three ideas feel complete. Four begins to feel like a list. Five starts to feel like work.
That doesn't mean your business only has three strengths.
It means your audience probably won't remember twenty.
One of the most valuable exercises any leadership team can do is identify the three ideas they want every employee, customer, and prospect to associate with the business.
Everything else becomes easier after that.
Your website.
Your presentations.
Your marketing.
Your sales conversations.
Even your customer experience becomes more consistent because everyone is reinforcing the same story.
Don't Start With Features. Start With What Matters Most.
Businesses often confuse features, benefits, and value.
Features explain what you do.
Benefits explain what customers gain.
Neither automatically explains why customers choose you.
The real work is discovering the themes that consistently appear when customers explain why they hired you instead of someone else.
Sometimes that answer comes from a feature.
Sometimes it's a benefit.
Sometimes it's your philosophy, your process, or the experience of working with you.
Whatever the source, those themes become the foundation of a memorable message.
A Simple Exercise to Find Your Three
If you're wondering what customers should remember about your business, start here.
Write down every reason someone would choose your company, hire you, or recommend you. Don't edit yourself.
Once the list is complete, begin grouping similar ideas together. Look for patterns instead of bullet points.
Then ask the hardest question of all:
What do I actually want to be known for?
Choose three answers.
Finally, look across every place your business communicates—your website, presentations, social media, sales conversations, and customer experience.
Are those same three ideas showing up consistently?
If they aren't, your customers probably don't know what they're supposed to remember either.
Being Different Isn't Enough
Most businesses already have enough value.
The challenge isn't creating more reasons for customers to choose you.
It's deciding which reasons deserve to be remembered.
Customers won't remember everything.
They don't need to.
But if they consistently remember the right things, they'll understand not only what your business does, but why it matters.
That's how businesses become memorable.
And memorable businesses are the ones customers come back to, recommend to others, and think of first when the time comes to choose.
If you're wrestling with what your business should be known for, this is the work Dr. J.J. Peterson helps leaders, organizations, and thought leaders do every day. Through messaging workshops and strategy sessions, he helps teams uncover the ideas that matter most—and build marketing that customers remember. Learn more about working with J.J. at drjjpeterson.com.
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[00:00:00] Why Customers Don't Remember Your Business
Dr. JJ Peterson: You actually have to take your message, your vision, and put it out in the world in a way that connects with people that you're trying to serve so you can actually make an impact. You can help people. You can make a difference in this world with your products, your services, your leadership. That's where marketing comes in
Welcome to Badass Softie, a podcast for leaders who are unapologetically ambitious and want to lead with heart because you're allowed to chase big goals without losing what makes you human. I'm your host, Dr. JJ Peterson, and I think at this point, we're about 50 episodes into the Badass Softie Podcast, which has been so fun for me to all the learning that I've been doing and kind of exploring the voice of what this community is going to be, and I, I really hope you've been getting a lot out of these conversations.
I know I've heard from a number of you who have, and so I am so grateful for that, and just the little community that we're building. My goal with all of this has been to help leaders and business owners lean into their own voice, to become more of who they are, not less, and to lead in a way that feels authentic and meaningful and aligned with the kind of impact and human that they want to be in this world, right?
And while we've talked a lot about leadership, relationships, resilience, purpose, personal growth, all of that is really foundational because what it should do is i- once we realize that being softie is okay, being sensitive, being kind, being a good human, having good relationships is a good thing and we wanna lean into that, it comes to a point where all those things, the voices and all those things in your head of what we're building and what we're trying to do in the world, they need to actually leave and make it out into the world, and this is where the badass side comes in.
You actually have to take your message, your vision, and put it out in the world in a way that connects with people that you're trying to serve, so you can actually make an impact. You can help people. You can make a difference in this world with your products, your services, your leadership. It's not just about connecting, but it's about moving them to action.
When you're able to articulate clearly who you are and what you offer, then you encourage and challenge and really give the opportunity to people to buy your products, follow your vision, or hire you to work with them That's where marketing comes in. In fact, that is the primary way that I help people.
If you've been around me for very long at all, especially the last 10 years, you know that I have spent my career helping leaders and organizations communicate clearly through products and services, but specifically marketing. I help leaders, authors, speakers, organizations figure out what they wanna be known for and then communicate it in a way that feels authentic, cuts through the noise, and connects with the right audience.
Because at its best, marketing isn't a sales pitch. It's not trying to manipulate people to buy your product or pretending to be something you're not. It's the process of helping the right people understand who you are, what you do, and why it matters. And if you've ever felt like marketing was somehow separate from your values or your purpose, I, I'd actually like to argue the opposite.
When it's done well, marketing is one of the most generous things you can do. Communicating clearly is a gift to your audience. It's how the people who need what you offer find you in the first place. In many ways, marketing is what happens when you have the courage to let other people experience your ideas.
And because so many of you are business owners, entrepreneurs, consultants, authors, speakers, and leaders trying to create meanf- uh, meaningful work in the world, I thought it would be valuable to spend a few episodes talking specifically about marketing. Not gimmicks, not hacks, not tricks, just some ideas that help you communicate your value more clearly so the people that are-- you're trying to serve can actually find you
[00:04:23] Differentiation Isn't the Problem
Dr. JJ Peterson: So today, we are going to be kicking off a short marketing series, and over the next few episodes, I'm going to be interviewing and talking with people who are incredibly good at marketing, communication, and building brands.
But before we get into those conversations, I wanted to start with an idea that has been showing up in almost every marketing strategy session that I've led over the past few years. So a lot of times what I do is I go in and spend a day with a company, with either just the leaders of the company or their full marketing teams or their sales teams, and I work with them for the day to help them clarify their message and then create a strategy to put it out in the world.
And what I've discovered is most companies think they have a differentiation problem, as in they aren't able to clearly articulate how, uh, they are different than their competitors. And while there's a piece of that that's true, what they actually have is a clarity problem. They haven't figured out which of their differences, which they do have, matter most and how to communicate them in a way that makes people remember.
They haven't decided what they want to be known for, and because of that, their marketing ends up trying to communicate everything. Um, a few weeks ago, I was with- in a strategy session with a client, and we were trying to figure out why customers choose them instead of their competitors. Now, this is one of my favorite parts of the process because it's always fascinating to watch.
I often just ask the simple question, "What makes you different?" And within a few minutes, the room fills with answers. Somebody talks about customer service. Somebody else talks about their process or the experience customers have with them. Somebody mentions technology, then relationships, their expertise, culture, responsiveness, and before long, you've got a whiteboard covered in reasons why customers should choose them.
The funny thing to me is that most of these reasons are legitimate And the problem isn't that they're wrong, is the pro- the problem is that nobody can remember all of them. And when you start putting all of them out there, you sound like everybody else. And this is often where many marketers and businesses get stuck.
[00:06:50] Why More Information Hurts Marketing
Dr. JJ Peterson: If we assume that if customers just knew more about us, then they would buy. If they understood every feature, every service, every capability, every little thing that makes us unique, then the decision would be obvious. We're better than everybody else. But customers aren't studying for an exam. They're busy.
They're distracted. They're trying to run their business, raise their kids, answer emails, pay their bills, get to soccer practice, make dinner, y- just survive the week. And somehow, in the middle of it all, they're trying to remember who does what. What company does what? Why do I need this person? Which means marketing isn't simply about communicating value.
It's about making value memorable. Or maybe said another way, it's about deciding what you want to be known for. Because there's a lot of companies that are different, but far fewer companies are known. Think about brands like Volvo. Uh, to me, if I say Volvo, most people immediately think safety. That's not the only thing Volvo does.
It's not even the only reason people buy a Volvo. But it's the thing they're known for. You know, Oura Ring is known for helping you sleep. FedEx is known for overnight delivery. The strongest brands in the world are not necessarily the ones with the most value. They're often the ones that have decided which value they want customers to remember And here's where I want to put on my professor hat for a minute, because there's actually some fascinating research behind this.
One of the most well-known principles in psychology is something called Hick's law. Hick's law suggests that the more options people are given, the longer it takes them to make a decision. Now, that sounds obvious when you say it out loud, but marketers violate this all the time. We assume more information creates confidence.
More reasons, more features, more benefits, more differentiators, more proof, more everything. That's going to be the reason people buy. But often what we're doing in that moment is we're actually creating more work for our customers. Researchers have studied this from a variety of angles, but one of the most famous examples is what is commonly called the jam study.
Uh, I love me some jam, and I love me a farmers market. And if I am at a farmers market, I will not walk by a jam table without sampling, right? That's why I remember this study. So in this study, shoppers at markets, at farmers markets would, um, encounter two different displays. One display offered twenty-four varieties of jam, the other offered six.
Now, the larger display actually attracted more attention, but the smaller display generated significantly more purchases. People were intrigued by the larger selection, but they were more likely to act when they had fewer options to sort through. Now, uh, obviously, your marketing isn't a table full of jam, but the principle still applies.
[00:10:08] The Rule of Three
Dr. JJ Peterson: The more things you ask people to evaluate, to remember, the harder it becomes for them to decide. Which raises an important question: If too many options create friction, how many ideas should we actually be asking customers to remember? And this is where I've become a huge believer in what is known as the rule of three.
The rule of three isn't just a marketing principle, it's a communication principle, storytelling, persuasive principle. You see it everywhere. You're gonna start seeing patterns of what we call ideas grouped in a rule of threes. So you'll hear things like beginning, middle, end; life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness; stop, drop, and roll; in an emergency, you call 911.
There's something about three that in our brain feels complete. It gives people enough information to create a pattern without overwhelming them. In fact, when researchers study persuasion and recall, they consistently find that people tend to process and remember information more effectively when it's grouped into meaningful chunks versus long lists.
Three is enough to create a framework, a pattern, a chunk. When you get to four, it starts to become a list, and five actually starts to feel like work, which is why one of the most valuable things that I do for clients is come in and listen to everything they do and how they're different, and I help them identify three value differentiators, three things they wanna be known for, not because they're only good at three things.
Every company is good at more than three things. The question really isn't how many strengths you have, the question is which strengths do you want people to remember? And it's the same thing for thought leaders. Can you boil down your ideas into three meaningful buckets that people can remember? If you can't, they are not going to know why they need you.
Now, before we go any further, we should probably make an important distinction because th- as I get into this, this is where sometimes people get a little confused When I'm helping a client identify value differentiators, I'm not just talking about a list of features and benefits. Those things matter, but they are answering a little bit different question.
Features, for the purposes of this conversation, features are what you do. They're the features of your product that help your customer get the results they want. So features are kind of like what you do, the unique characteristics about your product or service. Benefits are what customers get because of those features.
So features are what you do, benefits are what they get. Value differentiators are the most important reason a customer chooses you. And the reason this gets a little bit messy is because value differentiators can come from one of the features or the benefits, or they may not come from either, 'cause sometimes they're rooted in a feature, sometimes they're rooted in a benefit, but sometimes they're rooted in your process, your expertise, your philosophy, or the way you do business.
You know, take a recruiting company for instance. They might have, uh, proprietary technology, dedicated recruiters, nationwide network. Those are features. The benefits that that gets customers might be h- faster hiring, better candidates, less work for your internal team. Those are benefits. And honestly, one of those benefits or features might end up becoming a value differentiator.
If customers constantly choose you because you help them hire faster than anybody else, that's probably worth talking about If the fact that you have unique, you know, uh, industry-specific recruiters and nobody else does that, that's worth talking about. What I'm trying to figure out is whether something belongs in the feature or benefit bucket, or really I'm trying to figure out what matters most to your customers.
[00:14:32] Decide What You Want to Be Known For
Dr. JJ Peterson: What are the reasons people are choosing you? What keeps coming up over and over again? What are the themes underneath all the things you do? So after I've looked at the features and the benefits and customer feedback and sales conversations and all the reasons people buy, I eventually land on three core ideas.
So for this company, what I would probably choose is industry-specific recruiters, because that's something unique that their competitors don't have. Flexible options, probably because it is something that their customers have told me over and over again that they love. And hire faster, because really that is what their customers want.
Sometimes it's a gut call. But really it comes down to answering the question, what do you want to be known for? Not because those are the only things your company does, they're not. But these are the things, three things that matter the most. And if that's true, those are probably the thing, three things I want customers to remember.
And one quick note here, because I think this also trips people up. When I say value differentiator, I don't necessarily mean something only you can say. In fact, very few companies have a value proposition that's completely unique and no other competitor can say. What I'm talking about are the reasons customers choose you, the things that matter most, the things you want people to remember.
I keep using the word remember over and over and over again because that is really the key here. What do you want your customers to remember so your team can consistently talk about it? A company will often come into a strategy with me with 15 different things they wanna communicate, sometimes 20, and honestly, most of them are good.
The challenge is that customers aren't going to remember those things, so I start looking for patterns. What belongs together? What themes keep showing up? What are the bigger ideas underneath all the bullet points? And eventually, we narrow it down to three. Again, not because the others aren't important, but because the others might support these three or are not as important as those three.
And once these ideas become clear, everything else becomes clearer in your marketing. The website gets easier to write. Marketing emails get easier to write. Sales presentations get easier. The team becomes more aligned because everybody is finally telling the same story. People often think branding and marketing is about logos, colors, fonts, and taglines and, and those things matter, but at its core, marketing is really about association.
When somebody hears your company's name, what immediately comes to mind? What do they associate with you, and what do they remember? Those are the real questions, and that's why identifying your value differentiator matters so much. It's not just deciding what to say. It's deciding what you wanna be known for.
So I do wanna give you something really practical out of all of this.
[00:17:32] The Exercise That Changes Your Marketing
Dr. JJ Peterson: Here's a simple exercise I want you to do this week. Whether you are a thought leader, a company, um, an individual entrepreneur, this will help you. This exercise is going to help you begin to identify your differentiator in the market and how to talk about it.
So here's what you do. Write down every reason why someone would choose your company or listen to you or buy from you. If you're a speaker, consultant or coach or thought leader, write down every reason why somebody should pay attention. What's a unique thing that you're saying? And with this list, don't edit yourself.
I want you to make a list. I hope you have 15, 20 ideas. Then, start grouping similar ideas together. You're gonna begin n- to notice themes and patterns, and when you're done, after kind of bringing all these three things together, ask yourself the question: What's most important? What do I really want to be known for?
And choose three. And then ask yourself a hard question. Are these three things showing up consistently in my website, my social media, my sales conversation, my presentation, your customer experience? Because if they're not, your customers probably don't know what they're supposed to remember either. And if they don't know what they're supposed to remember, they probably don't know what you're known for, and they probably won't hire you or buy from you One of the biggest mistakes in marketing is believing our job is to communicate everything.
It isn't. Our job is to help people understand the right things and remember them long enough to take action. The companies that win are not always the companies with the most value. They're often the companies that have become known for something valuable. They've decided what they want to be remembered for, and then they've had the discipline to repeat it over and over and over again.
And as we move into this marketing series, I want you to listen for that theme. Pay attention to the marketers, entrepreneurs, and communicators who figured out what they wanna be known for, 'cause I think you'll discover that the most effective marketing isn't usually about saying more. It's about getting crystal clear on what matters most and have the, having the courage to keep saying it.
If you found this episode helpful, I would love for you to share it with a friend, a business owner, or somebody on a marketing team who's trying to figure out how to stand out in a crowded market.
[00:20:04] Becoming Memorable
Dr. JJ Peterson: And if you're wrestling with this for your own company, what you should be known for, that's exactly the kind of work I do every day.
I would love to help. Go to my website, drjjpeterson.com, so D-R jjpeterson.com, and reach out to me. We can have a conversation, and we can figure out how I can come help you and your team clarify your message, be known for something, and reach more customers. So as I wrap up things for this episode, I want you to make sure that you do the exercise that I gave you.
Continue to clarify what you wanna be known for, and put it everywhere. And let me leave you with this. May you have the wisdom to recognize the unique value you bring. May you have the clarity to articulate it, and may you have the courage to simplify it, and may you have the discipline to keep showing up and repeating it until the people you're meant to serve can recognize it, too.
Because we believe you can be both ambitious and kind, fun and driven, powerful and deeply human. Your leadership can inspire, your success can have soul, and your ambition can make space for everyone. That's why you're a badass softie. We'll see you next week. Thanks for listening. Follow and subscribe so you don't miss an episode.
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